Mariners Analysis

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Dave Niehaus misses again

I'm a big fan of Niehaus, even if he is showing some signs of wear and tear. Unfortunately Dave did not get the call from the broadcasters' wing of the Baseball Hall of Fame. Instead the honor went to the Padres' Jerry Coleman, who has had some funny bloopers courtesy of Bob Wolfley- link

The bloopers of Coleman's include:

• "Winfield goes back to the wall! He hits his head on the wall, and it rolls off! It's rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!"

• "And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is that Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter, Kansas City leads in the eighth, 4 to 4."

• "Next up is Fernando Gonzalez, who is not playing tonight."

• "On the mound is Randy Jones, the left-hander with a Karl Marx hairdo."

• "(Bruce) Benedict may not be hurt as much as he really is."

• "There's someone warming up in the bullpen but he's obscured by his number."

• "Enos Cabell started here with the Astros and before that he was with the Orioles."

• "Gaylord Perry and Willie McCovey should know each other like a book. They've been ex-teammates for years now."

• "He slides into second with a stand-up double" and "Larry Lintz steals second standing up - he slid, but he didn't have to" and "They throw Winfield out at second, but he's safe."

• "If (Pete) Rose's streak was still intact, with that single to left, the fans would be throwing babies out of the upper deck."

• "Bob Davis is wearing his hair differently this year, short and with curls like Randy Jones wears, I think you call it a Frisbee."

• "The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five."

• On Glenn Beckert's retirement: "Well, I hope before Glenn goes he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is."

• "The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside."

• "Rich Folkers is throwing up in the bullpen."

• "Ron Guidry is not very big, maybe 140 pounds, but he has an arm like a lion."

• "Hats off to drug abusers everywhere."

• "Billy Almon has all of his in-laws and outlaws here this afternoon."

• "Tony Gwynn, the fat batter behind Finley, is waiting."

• "I don't mean he missed him, but he just didn't get him when he put the tag on him."

• "That big guy, Winfield, at 6'6", can do things only a small man can do."

• "Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding."

Let's hope Dave gets his call in the future, and we can laugh at some of his bloopers...